• Beauty From Us

    It’s More Than Just Hair: My Natural Hair Journey & Why I Ended It

    “It’s just hair.” That’s what everyone always says when they make a big decision about their hair. That’s what I said when I texted my husband at work a photo of all of my freshly shaven off hair on our bathroom floor. “It’s just hair, babe.” But the thing is, hair isn’t just hair. At least, not to everyone.

    I have been getting my hair straightened, chemically or with heat, almost my entire life. When I was 24 I got pregnant and stopped getting relaxers for fear that it would harm the baby. There was zero intention of “going natural” and embracing my kinky, curly hair. In my head, I was just going to go the 9 months without a relaxer, then get one as soon as I had my baby. I had no idea that making that decision was going to take me down the long road of growth and self-discovery that it did. Keep reading to see how much your life can change just by going natural.


    I never really realized how much of my beauty I attributed to my hair. I had always had long, thick hair my entire life and always got compliments on 1. how pretty I was and 2. how beautiful my hair was. I guess my psyche just automatically combined the two.


    Cut to: 24 yr old BR. I was getting relaxers regularly but just enough to smooth my curls, not completely take them out. So in my mind, I was already good with my curly hair and just didn’t have the time to deal with the maintenance. Then I got pregnant and stopped getting relaxers. My hair kinked and knotted up so quickly. I didn’t know what to do with it. As soon as I had my baby I got another relaxer.

    Problem was: hormones.


     My hair was extremely healthy when I got pregnant even though it was relaxed. So I figured it would be perfectly fine to get another right after pregnancy. I’m assuming my hormones made me have a bad reaction because my hair was terrible from the relaxer. It was just beyond repair. So with me being frustrated, hormonal, and extremely sleep deprived I said “eff it. I’m chopping it all off.”… “It’s just hair.” …I put my newborn in his bouncer, grabbed my husband’s clippers, and went full-on Brittney Spears.

    After I was done, I looked in the mirror, looked at all the hair on the floor, and let out one of those crazy, nervous laughs. WHAT DID I JUST DO?! I sent my husband a picture of all my hair on the floor and he called me to make sure I wasn’t having a nervous breakdown. I mean, I probably was, but I was fine.

    Adjusting to having no hair after living my entire life prideful of my “beautiful, long hair” was difficult. Mind you, I was 30 lbs heavier than I’d ever been in my life. The person I saw when I looked in the mirror wasn’t me. Where was my great skin? Where was my size 2 figure? Where was my long hair? Where was my beauty? Where was Bridgid-Ryan??? I had terrible postpartum depression for a good year after my first pregnancy and I just hated everything about myself. I couldn’t look in the mirror longer than 90 seconds without crying. I didn’t know what to do with my little kinky-curly afro. I didn’t know how to dress my new size 8 body.

    I grew my hair back out and slowly learned how to take care of it. In that process, I learned how not only accept but to love my hair just the way that it grows out of my head. I learned that I didn’t have to straighten it, tame it, or do anything extra to it. My hair was beautiful just the way it was.


    When I think of my natural hair journey there’s always a Gorillaz lyric that plays in my head “Finally, someone let me out of my cage.”

    I felt like I broke out of the cage of having to be one kind of beautiful, I could be my own kind of beautiful and didn’t have to try and be what I thought other people saw as beautiful.

    This carried over to how I saw myself entirely. I learned to love myself and believed that I was beautiful no matter my dress size, hair length/texture, skin complexion, etc. I learned to embrace all of my quirks, flaws, and scars, and new curves.

    Now that I’ve told you how cutting all my hair off lead me down a journey to self-love and embracing my natural beauty, let me tell you why I ended it all.

    I’m tired. That’s it. haha

    My natural hair requires hours of maintenance and a strict schedule of rinsing, washing, detangling, and moisturizing to stay healthy. A schedule that eats up hours and hours of my weeks.

    In October 2017 I texted my sister and was just like “yo. I’m done. Either I’m chopping all my hair off again or I’m getting a relaxer.” She basically replied with “I was thinking the same thing!” My sister is has a job, owns a business, and has 5 kids. She didn’t have the time to be fiddling with her hair all the time. I am a stay-at-home mom of 2 energetic boys. I don’t have the time to sit in front of the mirror like that either. And even though I do have more time than working moms, I don’t have the patience. I don’t like styling hair and I didn’t want to have to deal with mine so much. So that evening we both went out, got kiddie texturizes and texturized our hair.

    This time, I felt comfortable changing my hair because it was for a different reason. I wasn’t changing my hair because I didn’t like my natural hair or because I didn’t know how to take care of it. I was changing it purely because I didn’t want it taking over my days.

    Even though I am no longer completely natural, I am very grateful for what my natural hair journey taught me. I have 2 boys with very different but curly hair and I feel better equipped to be able to teach them to love themselves just the way they are. I am very careful about my words regarding hair and I let my 4 year old have complete control over his hair. I believe this will help him to realize something that I didn’t as a child, he is perfect in every way and doesn’t have to change a thing if he doesn’t want to. So when he says “it’s just hair” it really will be just hair.



    Does your hair hold a significance to you? Why or why not?

    I’d love to hear from you in the comments!


    From the heart,








    Like this post? Share on Facebook or Pin it!

    You Might Also Like

    Leave a Reply


    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

      Follow This Comment Thread  
    Notify of