Editor’s Note: I came across the amazing story of these 3 single mamas working to create community for their children who are half-siblings, in a Facebook community. I am so excited to share an interview with one of these mamas here!
So, a little background: these 3 mamas share a father for 3 of their 6 children. Located in 3 states (GA, TX, and AR), and without any involvement from the children’s shared father, these mamas made a conscious decision to form a consistent and collaborative relationship. Furthermore, they opted to connect ALL of their children to build a community amongst them. (In the photo above: Chesil, pictured with Que and Kassilynn (L to R) on a recent family vacation)
Read more from Chesil below:
So you mentioned that your children’s father is not involved in their lives. How did you mamas first reach out to each other? What was that interaction like?
Chesil: I met Kassilynn for the first time at Karis’ 2nd birthday party. We didn’t really communicate with one another until Karis was about 3. I would ask permission to take Karis to get her nails painted and she would ask could I watch Karis while she completed college courses.
Que and I knew each other in high school. Where we were cool in school, life sent us on our separate ways after graduating. We fell out over miscommunications (mostly behind the children’s father) and via Facebook at that. We had a ridiculous blow out and then I sent her my phone number so we could talk things out. And THAT’S where we got to the bottom of a lot of things.
How has your relationship with each other changed over time?
Chesil: Kassilynn and I have always had a cordial relationship. Que and I have had our battles; however, after our much needed conversation after the blow out and another about finally letting the kids meet, we ALL decided that things would be much better if we were working with each rather than going at each other. We created a group text amongst us 3, named “My Baby Mamas” where our small conversations turned into EVERYDAY conversations and vacation plans!
Look at the beautiful kids!
How often do your children get to see and/or talk to each other?
Chesil, Que, and Kassilynn: As much as possible. We all have iPads, iPhones, and social media. So they constantly video chat (sometimes 3 way with an app called FAM) whenever. Also for summer breaks, winter breaks, or holidays we try to meet up or at least make sure they can meet up multiple times a year.
What do you hope your children’s relationships will be like in the future?
Chesil, Que and Kassilynn: They will remain close and have a bond that no one can break. Our children (all 6) already consider each other siblings even though only three share the same father.
We know they will stay close to one another. It’s such a joy to watch the bond all of them have with one another. They each have their own personality and all them will go in far in life.
If you could give other mamas in a similar situation one piece of advice, what would it be?
Chesil, Que, and Kassilynn: That as women, especially women of color, it is imperative that we raise our children with dignity and respect. Siblings don’t even know they’re related because the parents are at odds with one another. We are not saying to become best friends but you’d be surprise what you learn about one another and what you have in common. A mother of an older child may already have been through a similar situation you’re experiencing with parenting and can help.
Chesil, Kassilynn, and Que communicate daily by text and call each other ‘My Baby Mamas’.
We want to express our deepest gratitude to Chesil, Kassilynn, and Que for sharing their story with us. This trio came together to do what’s best for their children, building a community for themselves in the process.
What do you all think? Could you ever overcome your differences and misunderstandings in this situation?
Hop in our comments below to share your thoughts!